Im With Stupid (And She Is Me) versuri

Im With Stupid (And She Is Me) lyrics by The Tommy Lasorda Experience

I accidentally turned off the ignition
With my knee while driving on the highway
I instinctively put the car into park while doing 60
The transmission was completely ruined
I yelled at an old guy who took my seat once
In Tokyo’s Narita Airport
I went to the bathroom and returned
To see some dude just plopped down in my seat
I was jetlagged and nicotine deprived
And I really laid into him
He turned out to be former Speaker of the House
And current Ambassador to Japan
The first time I ever shot a rifle I was in rural Pennsylvania
I was so worried about the noise that I forgot about the recoil
The rifle scope smashed me in the forehead
And left a semicircular scar
My friends told me I stood up, dropped the rifle
And started wandering off
Sitting in the common room of my dormitory in high school
Someone threw an empty soda can at me
I caught it with one hand and crushed it. It was kind of cool
But my right thumb was nearly severed
I still have that scar too!
Came down with a severe allergic reaction
And broke out in terrible hives
Scratched myself raw in my sleep until l
Decided to duct tape my hands before bed
The next night, I apparently went to the kitchen
And got a fork out of the drawer
When I awoke, the sheets were red with blood
And I was taken to the hospital