If I Could Meet Anyone Alive or Dead (That Annoying Old MySpace Chain Survey) versuri

If I Could Meet Anyone Alive or Dead (That Annoying Old MySpace Chain Survey) lyrics by The Tommy Lasorda Experience

I sometimes get asked who I would like to meet
Anyone in history, Alive or dead
Since my mind is very orderly and linear
I followed a systematic approach
And asked some people who THEY would want to meet
Mostly people looked at me funny and kept on walking
But I got a few suggestions from people
None of them were right for me:

George Washington? No thanks
Albert Einstein? He might be cool to meet
But I don’t think it would be a very interesting convеrsation
Plus my German is terrible

Adolf Hitlеr? Many people want to meet him and see if they could kill him
No dice. For starters, that would screw up the space-time continuum
But more importantly, he’s not someone that I WANT to meet
And this is about people I want to meet
If I did meet him, it would be more of a duty or an obligation (to kill him)

John Lennon? Most accounts are pretty clear
On the fact that John Lennon was an asshole
Of course, he himself often said he was an asshole
So he was probably right

Jesus Christ? Nope
If I met Jesus, it would be just so I could tell my friends that I hung out with Jesus
A few problems with this
Jesus obviously didn’t speak English
How would we communicate – charades?
Poor guy had nails in his hands
Plus, this particular choice of meeting anyone, dead or alive, doesn’t apply to fictional characters
If it did, I’d have to start considering Philip Marlowe, Legolas from Lord of the Rings
Tintin, any of the A-Team, Minnie Mouse, etcetera’
Better to limit it to real people

I don’t have any dead relatives that I feel like digging up
Metaphorically

After running around in circles and getting nowhere
I decided that after considering all these long-dead people
The person I would most like to meet is Michael Jackson
Am I a fan of his music? No, not particularly
But to sit down in my living room with some coffee, and maybe some biscotti
I am a good host, after all
And Michael Jackson, I bet that would be really interesting

So I’d like to meet Michael Jackson, because I bet he has some awesome stories
But he’s all kooky too, so I’d have to come prepared with a lot of questions

But I think that would be really cool