Tommy Salommy vs Well-Informed Consumer | Epic Rap Battles of My Ass versuri

Tommy Salommy vs Well-Informed Consumer | Epic Rap Battles of My Ass lyrics by Tommy Salommy

Intro: Announcer
Epic Rap Battles Of My Ass

Tommy Salommy (Oh yeah)

Versus

Well-Informed Consumer

Verse 1: Tommy Salommy, Well-Informed Consumer
My name is Tommy, it’s nice to meet you
I’ve got some content on my channel to bequeath you
I’ve got raps and skits
And ass and tits!?
Well no, ‘cause we’d be metoo’d, but… Hear me out
My expenses right now are out of pocket (Oh, stop it!)
We’ll need a profit to make higher quality content
If we can attract more views, and likes, and comments
Then you can sell out later to the ads?
No, that’s not it!
We love our fans and wanna build a big community
But can’t make videos into perpetuity
Without some extra dough, so I ask you to contribute for me
If not, that’s fine, my vids can always be viewed for free
What happened?
We ran outta background budget
How did we run out of-?
You know what? Fuck it
I’m not even sure what I’d use to pay you on
It’s this awesome website the folks are calling „Patreon”
Donations start at 3 dollars and tiers go up from there

Verse 2: Well-Informed Consumer, Tommy Salommy
That’s great, but there’s one thing
What’s that?
I don’t care! (Oh.)
Look, 3 dollars is a lot bro, sorry
I think I’d rather spend it on a shitty cup of coffee
WAIT! But caffeine is highly addictive
You might as well be putting nicotine in your system
Good idea! Huh? I’ll grab a pack of cigs too
That’s not exactly what I- Oh, poo…
Cut!
I said cut!
Sorry…
Damn