Why Mira cant go back to her old house versuri

Why Mira cant go back to her old house lyrics by John Harbison

The colors of the Dark One have penetrated Mira’s body; all the other colors washed out
Making love with the Dark One and eating little, those are my pearls and my carnelians
Meditation beads and the forehead streak, those are my scarves and my rings
That’s enough feminine wiles for me. My teacher taught me this
Approve me or disapprove me: I praise the Mountain Energy night and day
I take the path that ecstatic human beings have taken for centuries
I don’t steal money, I don’t hit anyone. What will you charge me with?
I have felt the swaying of the elephant’s shoulders;
And now you want me to climb on a jackass?
Try to be serious